le fin du monde

Man, I had like life relazations today.

Being here, and being with all the people I am with, belgians/exchange students/host family is like...unreal.

I am not really sure what I am trying to say, but just that I never want to see this year end

yet, I want it to be over now.

And being an exchange student is such an emotionally conflicted and confusing expirience.

I am trying to really savor every moment I have here, even when the moments are hard and I am sad. But that also won't make them pass by any faster or any slower. And in 6 months I am going to be exactly were I started from, but I've already traded in for new eyes, and it might seem completely different.

Again, I'm trying my best here to convey how I am feeling, but its tough.

Maybe just because my english vocabulary is falling apart?

But it is like a reverie, but not alone, with a lot of other people, with a timer always ticking in the backround.

And when I imagine my exchange year I always think of being inside a snow globe (....not just cause it snows here so much)

Really rambling, but it is thoughtful rambling. What on earth am I going to be able to do with myself next year man? What even COMES next?

Cocaine

Learning a new language is just full of new opportunities to embarrass yourself.....

So, yesterday was the last day of the exams, so afterwards I went out with my classmates for celebrating and joy.  They are all soooo nice and like fun, I really like my friends here. Like I am going to miss them loads when I go back to the states. Although I am still surprised I manage to make them with the state my french is in.
Anyway, we were casually conversing when somehow the subject of soda comes up, specifically coca-cola.
And, basically, as I am sure you all know, in America we call coca-cola coke, just too keep things simple.
But, see, in this chocolate filled land coke exclusively means cocaine. Information I just got yesterday. Did I mention I have been here for three months? And in the time have tried to get coke (soda) from various restaurants, just to be looked at like a crazy person by the waiter? And now I know why. Good work me.
This post mainly serves as a warning people

honeymoon phase

Its been awhile....
this is going to be a long one....
So, the exchange student new country new culture honeymoon phase has completely ended for me. Completely. In a very complete sense.
And its too bad actually, because I am getting all bored and restless again, like I was before I cam here. I wanna go do something interesting again.
But I am also starting to really miss home, and the small things. Like fighting with my sisters and driving to school  and waiting for the bus downtown and going to the Americana and just hanging out with my friends. And sunshine. I really miss sunshine.
And its bad, because my homesickness is like manifesting itself. Like, I am getting really sick of hearing and speaking french. I just want to speak english.
But it isn't all bad here! This week were the exams (les examens) here in most of the belgian schools. They are basically like finals, except much more important. And harder. I am taking all the exams except for the languages (english, french, and dutch). They are hard, but not because I don't understand the questions, because I haven't understood the class for the past 3 months. So they are like impossible for me to do. I am still trying, but whatever.
The good part is though that I have only had to spend like 4 hours at school all week trying to take these tests, so I've had loads on free time! I've been using it to practice guitar a lot
Which brings me to the next thing!
Roughly a week and a half ago was Saint Nicolas! It is a day were SN comes and leaves presents in the shoes of the children. Hint: most the presents are chocolate related.
Which, by the way, I am soooo sick of chocolate. Please never make me look at it again. Or any sugar for that matter. I just want green salad (not a popular thing here...)
But yeah, that was cool. I got an itunes gift card from the host grandparents and a book of music from my host parents. It was very very nice. Belgian people are awfully nice.
I really really wish I could see someone (like anyone) from my old life though for christmas...
It just makes me so sad sometimes. Espechally when I spend time with my whole host family (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.) because it just makes me really really miss my family. Its weird, I've missed out plently of family gathering what with my parents being divorced and living in LA and everything, but I've never really missed people before.
OH AND EXCITING NEWS
A Claires just opened up in the mall here in Louvain-La-Neuve! I went there with my belgian friend yesterday, and everyone is liek so excited. It was actually pretty funny for me because Claires is like a store more for little kids and its pretty cheap and stuff in the states, but people thinks its really cool here and like all the kids dig it. It was nice though having a  little piece of home actually. I dont htink they do free ear piercing at EuroClaires though....which is actually kind of a shame, my ears want more wholes in them.
Alright, 2395789241 words later, and I think thats it. Sorry this was so long and (probably) rambley. I haven't been to english class in 7 months..........
XOXO KNEE