The 4 Month

So, I have been in Belgium now for 4 months. Everyone told me this is the point when french should start getting easier, but it isn't. And I am really really scared that it won't. I know if I can't finish this year fluent, then it will be ok, no matter what it is already better than when I arrived. But still, it stresses and FREAKS me out. Like man, I would be such a loser if I was the one that finished the year here and still couldn't speak french.

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It is really, really hard being an exchange student. Every single day I think, why am I doing this to myself? I miss everyone sooo much, it hurts. and it would just be so easy to go home. Every single day gets harder and harder, and there are amazing beautiful moments, but they don't always make it easier.
I comfort myself with the knowledge that its the important things we do in life that are the hardest. The things that end up really mattering.
So even though every day is hard this is really something I have to see through.
What on earth do I do after this?
What can I do?
What can I do?
What can I do?
What can I do?

Eat the tourists

So, I spent a lovely 4 days in Berlin, Germany. Picked up some handy german (nien nien spangleferkle nien)

It was really rad though, I went with my host dad, mom, 16 year old sister, and her friend. It was sooo fun! We stayed in my host dads friends apartment, since they were in switzerland. And man was it a swanky place. It was in a really cool like alternative section of the city, with all these cool little artsy shops. Like the silverlake of berlin. Real happenin. Also they had the most awesome collection of records....

But yeah, the city was sooo cool, I would really love to go back for a more substantial amount of time.

The first night there I went to see the Jewish museum, which had such cool architecture. And a lot of interesting information. I learned how to write my name in Hebrew.

Then I ate me some currywurst, which is like THE dish of the german people. It is basically a sausage with curry stuff on it that you eat standing around on a sidewalk with a mini plastic fork. My family was not into it, but it was strangely delicious for me. And I am not a sausage curry type of person....

Next we walked more, and saw pretty stuff. And I learned all about the Berlin Wall from a cool museum.

Ok, CRAZY sidenote: TRAVEL AGENTS EXIST IN GERMANY STILL. Seriously, I saw so many travel agents offices!!!! Like dont these poeople know the internet made their jobs obsolete? 

Anywase, there was also soooooooooooooooOOOOOO much really really cool graffitit. I have never seen a more graffitied city. It was beautiful man! Someone wrote "Eat the tourists " on the floor of a bridge, and I thought it was awesome and worthy of being a blog title. 

Also, I went to possible one of my favorite comtemporary art museums I have ever gone too. It was sooo well done, with all the various late 19th century and 20th century movements being in sparate rooms, but in an order that flowed. And they had discriptions in every room of what the movement was and the key figures. They also included what historical events were happening in that time, like wars, inventions, discoveries, etc. It was really really fantastic. I could have spent forever in that place!

Then my last day there we went to go see this BEAUTIFUL chateaux from er some king with loads of money. LOADS I have never seen a more opulent layout. Literally, there was like golden grapevines painted all over the walls and windows and paintings and lavish furniture and man, it was too much for me. The last room, a guest room, man it made me laugh...it was bright yellow with a tropical theme. So all lavishly painted all over the room were like parots and pineapples. And a chandelier made of chrystal flowers, whihc was actually pretty. But entirely too much. But this room, literally, was the tiki room. Like from disneyland. Just a tad more european and royal.

le fin du monde

Man, I had like life relazations today.

Being here, and being with all the people I am with, belgians/exchange students/host family is like...unreal.

I am not really sure what I am trying to say, but just that I never want to see this year end

yet, I want it to be over now.

And being an exchange student is such an emotionally conflicted and confusing expirience.

I am trying to really savor every moment I have here, even when the moments are hard and I am sad. But that also won't make them pass by any faster or any slower. And in 6 months I am going to be exactly were I started from, but I've already traded in for new eyes, and it might seem completely different.

Again, I'm trying my best here to convey how I am feeling, but its tough.

Maybe just because my english vocabulary is falling apart?

But it is like a reverie, but not alone, with a lot of other people, with a timer always ticking in the backround.

And when I imagine my exchange year I always think of being inside a snow globe (....not just cause it snows here so much)

Really rambling, but it is thoughtful rambling. What on earth am I going to be able to do with myself next year man? What even COMES next?

Cocaine

Learning a new language is just full of new opportunities to embarrass yourself.....

So, yesterday was the last day of the exams, so afterwards I went out with my classmates for celebrating and joy.  They are all soooo nice and like fun, I really like my friends here. Like I am going to miss them loads when I go back to the states. Although I am still surprised I manage to make them with the state my french is in.
Anyway, we were casually conversing when somehow the subject of soda comes up, specifically coca-cola.
And, basically, as I am sure you all know, in America we call coca-cola coke, just too keep things simple.
But, see, in this chocolate filled land coke exclusively means cocaine. Information I just got yesterday. Did I mention I have been here for three months? And in the time have tried to get coke (soda) from various restaurants, just to be looked at like a crazy person by the waiter? And now I know why. Good work me.
This post mainly serves as a warning people

honeymoon phase

Its been awhile....
this is going to be a long one....
So, the exchange student new country new culture honeymoon phase has completely ended for me. Completely. In a very complete sense.
And its too bad actually, because I am getting all bored and restless again, like I was before I cam here. I wanna go do something interesting again.
But I am also starting to really miss home, and the small things. Like fighting with my sisters and driving to school  and waiting for the bus downtown and going to the Americana and just hanging out with my friends. And sunshine. I really miss sunshine.
And its bad, because my homesickness is like manifesting itself. Like, I am getting really sick of hearing and speaking french. I just want to speak english.
But it isn't all bad here! This week were the exams (les examens) here in most of the belgian schools. They are basically like finals, except much more important. And harder. I am taking all the exams except for the languages (english, french, and dutch). They are hard, but not because I don't understand the questions, because I haven't understood the class for the past 3 months. So they are like impossible for me to do. I am still trying, but whatever.
The good part is though that I have only had to spend like 4 hours at school all week trying to take these tests, so I've had loads on free time! I've been using it to practice guitar a lot
Which brings me to the next thing!
Roughly a week and a half ago was Saint Nicolas! It is a day were SN comes and leaves presents in the shoes of the children. Hint: most the presents are chocolate related.
Which, by the way, I am soooo sick of chocolate. Please never make me look at it again. Or any sugar for that matter. I just want green salad (not a popular thing here...)
But yeah, that was cool. I got an itunes gift card from the host grandparents and a book of music from my host parents. It was very very nice. Belgian people are awfully nice.
I really really wish I could see someone (like anyone) from my old life though for christmas...
It just makes me so sad sometimes. Espechally when I spend time with my whole host family (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.) because it just makes me really really miss my family. Its weird, I've missed out plently of family gathering what with my parents being divorced and living in LA and everything, but I've never really missed people before.
OH AND EXCITING NEWS
A Claires just opened up in the mall here in Louvain-La-Neuve! I went there with my belgian friend yesterday, and everyone is liek so excited. It was actually pretty funny for me because Claires is like a store more for little kids and its pretty cheap and stuff in the states, but people thinks its really cool here and like all the kids dig it. It was nice though having a  little piece of home actually. I dont htink they do free ear piercing at EuroClaires though....which is actually kind of a shame, my ears want more wholes in them.
Alright, 2395789241 words later, and I think thats it. Sorry this was so long and (probably) rambley. I haven't been to english class in 7 months..........
XOXO KNEE

Dream City

Lots of Things Happen!

First, I had my birthday. I am now 17! It was weird, turning 17 in a country without all my old friends and family, but loads of fun too. So now I am old. But I celebrated with friends and had lots of fun.

Then thanksgiving came and went, and it was strange, because there is completely no celebration here. I would have tried to do a little dinner, but my whole family is always busy thursday nights, so it just passed by like any other day....

Then it was the weekend, which was bittersweet. One of my pretty good friends is only in Belgium for 3 months, so she had her goodbye party friday night. It was fun, but sad at the same time. Sometimes it seems like life is just endless saying goodbyes.

Then Saturday I slept until literally 12:30, it was fantastic, potentially the most fun I've had since getting here....

Thennnnnn Saturday night I went to a little party with my host siblings and alllllll of their cousins (there is a lot) and it was very very fun, my entire ENTIRE host family is just so cool and like very nice.

THEN I went to PARIS
my host family took me for my birthday, and it is dream city man. It was sooo beautiful, I literally cried on the top of the eiffel tower I was just so happy and the world was just so beautiful. I am having such a good time here....I never want to leave!

MISSING: Normal Person Problems!

Its been a while, oh blog of mine.
Basically, real life has officially begun, when someone stole my cell phone. and my REALLY COOL leopard print coat. Damn thieves, and their taking of stuff.
But last weekend I went with my host sisters on a scout weekend. Its like girl scouts except its doesn't suck and theres no cookies. Also, the counselours are kids, like 18 19, and theres no other adulty type person. IE its pretty fun
Then I had school this week, which is school. Nuff said.
There was some silly stupid drama yesterday/all weekish with some girl, and last night at the hieght of it all I was all emotional, even though I knew I shouldn't be, and in a fit of emotion accidentally ran into my bedroom door. True story. My head bled. It now hurts to blink.....why can't I have normal person problems?