le fin du monde

Man, I had like life relazations today.

Being here, and being with all the people I am with, belgians/exchange students/host family is like...unreal.

I am not really sure what I am trying to say, but just that I never want to see this year end

yet, I want it to be over now.

And being an exchange student is such an emotionally conflicted and confusing expirience.

I am trying to really savor every moment I have here, even when the moments are hard and I am sad. But that also won't make them pass by any faster or any slower. And in 6 months I am going to be exactly were I started from, but I've already traded in for new eyes, and it might seem completely different.

Again, I'm trying my best here to convey how I am feeling, but its tough.

Maybe just because my english vocabulary is falling apart?

But it is like a reverie, but not alone, with a lot of other people, with a timer always ticking in the backround.

And when I imagine my exchange year I always think of being inside a snow globe (....not just cause it snows here so much)

Really rambling, but it is thoughtful rambling. What on earth am I going to be able to do with myself next year man? What even COMES next?

Cocaine

Learning a new language is just full of new opportunities to embarrass yourself.....

So, yesterday was the last day of the exams, so afterwards I went out with my classmates for celebrating and joy.  They are all soooo nice and like fun, I really like my friends here. Like I am going to miss them loads when I go back to the states. Although I am still surprised I manage to make them with the state my french is in.
Anyway, we were casually conversing when somehow the subject of soda comes up, specifically coca-cola.
And, basically, as I am sure you all know, in America we call coca-cola coke, just too keep things simple.
But, see, in this chocolate filled land coke exclusively means cocaine. Information I just got yesterday. Did I mention I have been here for three months? And in the time have tried to get coke (soda) from various restaurants, just to be looked at like a crazy person by the waiter? And now I know why. Good work me.
This post mainly serves as a warning people

honeymoon phase

Its been awhile....
this is going to be a long one....
So, the exchange student new country new culture honeymoon phase has completely ended for me. Completely. In a very complete sense.
And its too bad actually, because I am getting all bored and restless again, like I was before I cam here. I wanna go do something interesting again.
But I am also starting to really miss home, and the small things. Like fighting with my sisters and driving to school  and waiting for the bus downtown and going to the Americana and just hanging out with my friends. And sunshine. I really miss sunshine.
And its bad, because my homesickness is like manifesting itself. Like, I am getting really sick of hearing and speaking french. I just want to speak english.
But it isn't all bad here! This week were the exams (les examens) here in most of the belgian schools. They are basically like finals, except much more important. And harder. I am taking all the exams except for the languages (english, french, and dutch). They are hard, but not because I don't understand the questions, because I haven't understood the class for the past 3 months. So they are like impossible for me to do. I am still trying, but whatever.
The good part is though that I have only had to spend like 4 hours at school all week trying to take these tests, so I've had loads on free time! I've been using it to practice guitar a lot
Which brings me to the next thing!
Roughly a week and a half ago was Saint Nicolas! It is a day were SN comes and leaves presents in the shoes of the children. Hint: most the presents are chocolate related.
Which, by the way, I am soooo sick of chocolate. Please never make me look at it again. Or any sugar for that matter. I just want green salad (not a popular thing here...)
But yeah, that was cool. I got an itunes gift card from the host grandparents and a book of music from my host parents. It was very very nice. Belgian people are awfully nice.
I really really wish I could see someone (like anyone) from my old life though for christmas...
It just makes me so sad sometimes. Espechally when I spend time with my whole host family (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.) because it just makes me really really miss my family. Its weird, I've missed out plently of family gathering what with my parents being divorced and living in LA and everything, but I've never really missed people before.
OH AND EXCITING NEWS
A Claires just opened up in the mall here in Louvain-La-Neuve! I went there with my belgian friend yesterday, and everyone is liek so excited. It was actually pretty funny for me because Claires is like a store more for little kids and its pretty cheap and stuff in the states, but people thinks its really cool here and like all the kids dig it. It was nice though having a  little piece of home actually. I dont htink they do free ear piercing at EuroClaires though....which is actually kind of a shame, my ears want more wholes in them.
Alright, 2395789241 words later, and I think thats it. Sorry this was so long and (probably) rambley. I haven't been to english class in 7 months..........
XOXO KNEE

Dream City

Lots of Things Happen!

First, I had my birthday. I am now 17! It was weird, turning 17 in a country without all my old friends and family, but loads of fun too. So now I am old. But I celebrated with friends and had lots of fun.

Then thanksgiving came and went, and it was strange, because there is completely no celebration here. I would have tried to do a little dinner, but my whole family is always busy thursday nights, so it just passed by like any other day....

Then it was the weekend, which was bittersweet. One of my pretty good friends is only in Belgium for 3 months, so she had her goodbye party friday night. It was fun, but sad at the same time. Sometimes it seems like life is just endless saying goodbyes.

Then Saturday I slept until literally 12:30, it was fantastic, potentially the most fun I've had since getting here....

Thennnnnn Saturday night I went to a little party with my host siblings and alllllll of their cousins (there is a lot) and it was very very fun, my entire ENTIRE host family is just so cool and like very nice.

THEN I went to PARIS
my host family took me for my birthday, and it is dream city man. It was sooo beautiful, I literally cried on the top of the eiffel tower I was just so happy and the world was just so beautiful. I am having such a good time here....I never want to leave!

MISSING: Normal Person Problems!

Its been a while, oh blog of mine.
Basically, real life has officially begun, when someone stole my cell phone. and my REALLY COOL leopard print coat. Damn thieves, and their taking of stuff.
But last weekend I went with my host sisters on a scout weekend. Its like girl scouts except its doesn't suck and theres no cookies. Also, the counselours are kids, like 18 19, and theres no other adulty type person. IE its pretty fun
Then I had school this week, which is school. Nuff said.
There was some silly stupid drama yesterday/all weekish with some girl, and last night at the hieght of it all I was all emotional, even though I knew I shouldn't be, and in a fit of emotion accidentally ran into my bedroom door. True story. My head bled. It now hurts to blink.....why can't I have normal person problems?

Candy Candy!

So, this week, there is no school!
I mean halloween week, YES! I'm not really sure why, I don't think anyone really is, but I'm not complaining...
Last week was sooooo fun, but completely exhausting. There is this huge party in the town I live in called 24 Vélo every year, and I went to it last wednesday. Literally everyone everyone goes, and it takes up the ENTIRE town. Its pretty crazy, but fun fun fun. Vélo means bike, and there is a track around the whole town where people in completely insane bikes ride for 24 hours (or until these insane bikes fall apart). Then inside the middle of the town there is lots of music and dancing and all around insanity. (My vocabulary is really falling apart...sorry for using the same words over and over again....)I spent 95% of the evening with belgian friends speaking french and understanding french, it was a really goood day linguistic wise.
Then Thursday I went to see a play with my classmates, about a forest. I understood a few of the jokes, but did not really get the story. But at least the seats were soft and comfortable, so it was a nice nap-taking opportunity.
Then yesterday I slept for 12 hours. It was probably the most fun I've had since getting to Belgium.
I've got to go now, I'm catching a train for Namur!
Bye!

Why Howdy!

So, last friday I had my first belgian ballet class. It was pretty fun, and cool, because ballet words are all in french in America and in belgium (duh) so I UNDERSTOOD. It was wild. So wild.
But like here, 3rd position exists, and I was really confused for the entire first part of the class because I just thought that everyone was doing 5th really badly....but...no...
THEN OTHER THINGS HAPPENED
I went to a party, that was america themed. Haha, a little weird, but fun fun fun.
Then today at the crack of 11:30 AM I went to Namur. Its real pretty there man! They have some lovely parks and buildings. And I had some australian ice cream (I don't get why the australia part is significant...)and it was yum yum yum yum yum yum yum
And that is all.

Hi Mom,

SO I am 99% sure that only one person is reading this, and that that one person is my mom.
Hi mom.

So, basically, I have school every day and stuff. Its not awesome, its not horrible. People here are all sooo nice to me though, I could definitly get used to this.....
Last weekend I went to Liege and saw  LOT of other AFS kids, it was pretty fun. Except when it started raining, because I basically drowned while standing on the sidewalk. Belgium weather...its not awesome......
Thats all I can think of
I promise I'll write more when I can think of more...
BYE MOM LOVE YOU

Not Much

Not a lot is going on, just getting into the routine of normal person daily life.
Its actually a little disappointing, last summer I was all over the place (literally, figuratively,) and living fast and now I'm slowing down.  But man, I don't wanna slow down! I just want to run all over europe and all of the world with my hands over my head screaming because there's no one stopping me man.
At least the waffles are good.
Except that I have decided to stop eating sugar, because today I was just not feeling good, and I am 98% sure it is because I have been eating the normal belgian diet of literally some form of chocolate every day. Yuck man. Gimme some avocados and I'll be fine.

Tomorrow I am going to brussels with some friends, that should be cool.

I miss taco trucks.

Lost Bread

So yesterday was a day full of new wild and crazy revelations. I was searching for a snack with some belgian friends when all of the sudden they start saying "pain perdu" over and over again. Which means lost bread. Being the kind, loving and helpful person that I am, I began looking for this lost bread. Well, apparently, pain perdu is not a loaf of bread that has been misplaced, but in fact french toast.
It is something thats like not so classy here, and mostly just a way to eat stale bread. Its yummy though. That may be in part to the fact that here it is eaten with not maple syrup, but honey and sugar. Yumyum.
Also, I saw some wild and crazy goats wandering free in the park yesterday. My friends say this is not normal here, but I am skeptical....
Today though, I am eurosick. Which is just like normal sick, but in Europe. Not fun AT ALL.
Blehh

CHAT OE

So, last weekend I went to a Chateaux in the northern (Dutch-speaking) bit of belgium. Everything was mad purdy, except of course, the language. I don't mean to offend, but how did belgium get stuck with one of the most beautiful languages ever (french) and one of the ugliest (dutch)??????
The chateaux was huge man with like 15 bedrooms and chadeliers and the most beautiful piano I have ever seen ever. It needed to be tuned, badly, but was sooo pretty! There was like 30 family members there, and they all spoke french, so I felt a little lost. But they were all so nice that it wasn't so bad.
But I talked not nearly enough by my (high) standards.
OH MAN AND YESTERDAY
so cool dude
I watched a really good movie, in Danish, with french subtitles AND KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING. Like completely. I mean I didn't get every single word, but I knew exactly what was going on. My belgian friend I saw it with and I were both very happily surprised. Maybe I am learning?!?!?!?!?! Well, one things for sure, and that is that I am forgetting English. Senior year back in America will be so much fun (not).
Here in Belgium, they use these crazy things called trains, for transportation throughout the country. And a few times a year the train worker people decide they need to protest, so they do, and all the trains stop. So, then, poor little school children like myself have no way to get to school (school-buses are not a thing) so we are forced to sleep all day and stay in our pajamas.
hahah THANK YOU BELGIUM

Europe rocks man

TOOTH BRUSHING MANIAC

ATTENTION TOOTH BRUSHING MANIAC ON THE LOOSE
jk its just me
but I am a maniac.
Basically, here in Belgium, there is plentiful chocolate (think whole aisle) and other sugary delicious treats. And compared to most people I know in belgium I barely eat sweets (hah!) but compared to ME I have been eating mad amounts of sugar. So much, that I feel like I need to brush my teeth 5 times a day, which OH YEAH I've started doing. But even with all the sweets people in Belgium look wayyyy healthier than people, in general, did in the US. And the literal only reason I can think of is that here the food isn't full of chemicals and perservatives. Surprisingly, I also haven't gained any weight since I got here, rather I've LOST weight, and I think it must be because of the same reason. Cuz its not like I've started exercising or anything crazy like that.
Also, my french is getting a lot better. It still sucks but today I hung out with my belgian friend for a few hours and spoke soooo much french (by my standards). Its so awesome how everyone here is so eager to help me out also! My vocabulary has grown a lot in the past few days! Also, this pretty song by Carla Bruni (the french singer) that is really pretty pretty pretty and FAST aslo my friends are teaching me in french. Yayaya! And slowly, slowly, I am learning it, and I understand the words!
THANKS BELGIANS!
Also, I bought a coat today in the mall that in 3 minutes away from my house via a beautiful tree lined car-free path. So maybe I won't die of hypothermia now, who knows? It was hard to find one though that wasn't over 100 Euros. Man this place mad pricey.

Soul Snacks

This post doesn't really have anything to do with the title, I just like the sound of "soul snacks"
haha, so basically last weekend I saw another exchange student, a girl from Austria, and it was really nice. We had some delicious waffles, and made tentative plans to go zip ling with her host brother in the future. Yayay funfun.
Then I saw this play sunday in like a circus tent with circusy things and circusy people and a saxophone. Good fun, all in all.
School today. Man, speaking french is NOT EASY. Like, before coming here I thought that learning french wouldn't be hard, cuz I mean I picked up English so easily, but that is NOT true. Most of my communicating is just a stream of vaguely connected words in no real grammatical order. It really is quite pathetic.
Also, I dont understand school or where I am going ever or when classes start or anything. I just fallow my class around cluelessly. And there isn't really a pattern to where we go or how long classes are or anything. I don't get it.
And, I really REALLY miss my locker. I never carried anything around ever at LACHSA, just put in all in my locker. That is not the case here. No lockers. NONE. So annoying. That mixed with the fact that I never know what classes I have which days so I have to lug everything for every class to school every day makes for an unhappy me.
Also, I miss talking. I really, really like talking. Constantly. It is my favorite pastime, life's PASSION. Basically, I was born to talk. And I cant really do that here, cause of the language barrier situation. I smile and nod so much I get dizzy, but I barely even talk. My vocal chords are probably shriveling up and dying as I type from disuse.
I am going to go and talk to myself for a few hours now.

LYFE ROX

Dude I actually love my life. Haha, like Belgium is pretty awesome countrywise and like fun is around every corner. I'm enjoying myself soooo much, I am sooooo happy to be here!! YAYA. Also, daily, my french is improving a lil bit. LIL LIL bit. But I mean in a month I'll probably be able to stumble my way through simple conversations. Which is AWESOME.
Today  I was on the train (which was mad delayed and took FOREVER) and I ran into some friends from AFS and we hung out today/night here in Louvain-La-Neuve. Small world/country (literally...)It was pretty nice getting to see them, I had funnnn
Also, its FRIDAY which is just always awesome. Toomarow, I SLEEP. Forever. And, I still really don't understand what my teachers say to me ever about anything so no homework for me. Life couldn't really get better?
ALSOO I had my little audition for school, it was okay, not the best, but I am sure that it was fine. Haha I literally made up the dance ON THE SPOT but the people were, surprisingly, impressed. Who woulda thought. (not me. lots of swaying was involed)
Times are good life is good blah blah blah goodnight

Hello my name is FEZ

So I have discovered a deep understanding and connection with Fez. Much like him, I have a weird accent, love candy, and am living in a foreign land. Unlike him, everyone is super super nice to me. Also, I don't frequently wear colorful tight pants. But who knows, in these crazy times, I might feel compelled buy a pair. Probably not though.
Anyway, actual things are going on in my life. I am going to school, which is good because I was going crazy without any friends, but man, waking up in the morning? There is pretty much nothing I hate more. Ugh. Its literally been 3 days and I am missing summer sleeping in. Tomorrow school starts at 10:30 though, so thats nice.
Everyone at school is sooo nice, even teachers. Pretty crazy, but cool. Everyone is also so helpful and understanding of my constant confusion. Man, I thought I never know what was going on in America, but this is like an all new level of being lost. I know it will get better though, so I am not to worried.
Friday I have to do my little audition for the school, which I am not worried about. I'm going to write my two letters tonight and then pretty much make up the dance on the spot (ehh what could go wrong?)
Thats all for now
BYE
<3 Fez2

Summer VAYCAY died

I almost made it to 4 months of summer vacation, but today the record got cut short. Yes yes, finally, it was my first day of school. It was actually really fun though, so I'm not dwelling on the summer days gone by. I made some friends and most of my teachers were nice. I actually understood most of the things that were said to me, but I'm not good enough to actually be able to reply with more than a laugh/weird face. Classes though, crazy confusing. I took some notes but literally have NO idea what they say. Maybe I should figure that out though? Tomorrow I have my first dance classes, its contemporary, which might be my favorite style of dancing. I'm really excited, but also a little nervous because I haven't actually danced in a few months...gahh! And since in PE we did a lot of stretching, and I really for some reason love stretching, so I'm pretty flexible but now I'm scared everyone will have like high expectations for my dancing skills! Also, the PE teacher may or may not have told everyone I am a greta dancer? Who knows what people are really saying though, because there is a good chance I only think I'm hearing a certain word but its actually something totally different.....
ANYWAY
The point is that right now life's pretty good and I'm not missing America yet. Well, except for the 300 beautiful days on sunshine we get in Los Angeles. I love sunshine.....
BYE 4 NOW

WHATUP INTERNET

hey world (ie 4 people who read this) my first day of school is toomarow. 1st class is gym. I THOUGHT THOSE DAYS WERE BEHIND ME. Wish me luck (I'll need it). But its actually pretty cool because this is belgian art school and there is only 2 hours of math per week. YAY
more later

BrainBrainy Sleepy Time Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ever since getting to belgium I've been sleeping crazy amounts. Usually, back in America, I go to sleep at midnight or so then wake up at 7 for a busy day of TV watching and nail painting. But here i got to sleep at midnight, wake up at eleven, eat breaky/play guitar/whatever, then get crraazzzyyyy sleepy at like 1 and take a three hour nap. And then do it all over again the next day. And I STILL FEEL TIRED. I am starting to think that there is more at work here than just jet lag. I believe my brain is tired from overuse, because I am constantly thinking and translating things mentally. Like I can't even zone out to my best friend, TV, because I have to think reeeallllyyy hard about what every character is saying in order to kind of sort of maybe a little get whats going on. Its exausting man!
What am I going to do when I start school and there much much much much more for my poor little brain box to handle? And I can't take multiple wild and crazy spur of the moment naps every day?
HOW WILL I SURVIVE?

Boring + Boring = Boring

Basically, the local school here in Louvain-La-Neuve doesn't want me because they already have like 60000000000000000000000000 million other exchange students (or maybe it was just 8....) so I am applying to this other school thats about 10 minutes outside of town. It seems waywyaywyaywya cool though, it is an art school and I will take classes in dance, music, theatre, sculpture, and art history. AND the best part is there is only 2 hours of math PER WEEK! hahahahahahhahahahahahah I feel fate is at work here!
Whats boring however is that I am not in any school yet, and am REALLY missing people and having friends and having stuff to do. I've been hanging with my host family, which is nice, but I miss the whole school atmosphere and all the new people and fun possibilities and things.
But chances are that I will get into this school and my first day should be friday. They have never had an exchange student before, so I'll be sppppeeecciiiallll. I just have to do this audition that consists of reciting a story and a poem, doing a 2 minute dance that I choreograph, sing a song, do some talking about some work of visual art, and writing a letter on my dedication. It should all be pretty easy except the dancing bit, because I haven't actually danced in a while. But I'm not actually all that worried. Things will work out...
On another note, my whole family thinks finds my lack of sweaters/pants/warm things very very amusing. My host sister looked at my wardrobe and actually like burst out in laughter yesterday. So today I went shopping for warm clothes, and was all exciting because everything was all cheep and cool, but then I remembered euros aren't dollars and got sad again because I wouldn't really afford anything. Its a hard life I lead.
That is all. I must sleep (i.e. lay in bed for 4 hours thinking of hypothetical conversations I would have with hypothetical friends before drifting off to sleep to dream about hypothetical conversations I'm having with hypothetical friends....Maybe I'm lonely/schizophrenic.......)

HOME

SO, yesterday I met my family and came to Louvain-La-Neuve, the place I will be living for the year. It is about 20-30 minutes outside of Brussels. Its a University town mostly populated by students. Cool part? Its all pedestrian, there are not even roads in the town square.
So far I don't have a school (why i am blogging right now and not er at school) because I got here so late. Wahh. but there is a chance that I may get to go to a school that has a special theatre area, which would be crazy crazy awesome!
My house is soo nice, with three floors. I even get my own room, and share a bathroom with my host sister Celine. Classy livin man
Also, my house has solar panels, which is apparently common in belgium. How cool!?! Belgium & Earth are like BFFs
Food here is soo good. Not just chocolate man, ALL food. It is all so flavorful and amazing and great and wonderful and yummy. Which is awesome, but for some reason I haven't actually been hungry in like 2 days. Crazy times

I have ARRIVED

Yo I'm in BELGIUM and so so so very tired. More on that later, when I have time to record all my chocolate eating adventures for all you (non-existant) readers

Wait. This is actually happening?

Basically, I will be leaving my homeland (America) in less than 3 months. To go to BELGIUM. Where I know NO ONE and they speak french, another thing I don't know (I've taking it for 2 years in school, but I'm no where near fluent). I'm still crazy excited. Its like all I can think about, and I've already got 3 drafts of potential packing lists. That reminds me, where can you find a winter coat in the middle of summer in Los Angeles???????
I'm going to be missing my Junior year of high school, which is bittersweet, because I really do love my school. But I mean, when you get offered Belgium, it's not like you say no! Any who, I'll be back my senior year, which is going to be really strange after spending the year abroad. But whatever, I can worry about that later.
back to BELGIUUMM! I got my itinerary this morning, and I'm leaving from New York. Which is a little bit too bad, because I am spending all of July in New York interning, then I come back to LA for about a week, and I guess am going back to New York. Mehh so much airfair. Oh well, what can you do?
Back to me being excited. Did I mention I'm excited? Europe here I come. Get Ready!